Geografi hela dagen lång

Känns som att jag inte gör något annat än att plugga just nu. Eftersom jag har prov efter Jul, den 11te och den 18de Januari, så blir det inte riktigt något vanligt jullov detta år. Bara slappa blir det efter alla prov, då har jag inte någonting alls som måste göras på hela två veckor.

Att det är så mycket att göra beror en hel del på att jag haft dålig studieteknik. Jag har inte läst allt extra material och när jag har läst har jag inte alltid gjort anteckningar. Dessutom har jag antagligen lagt för mycket tid på mina "continous assessment", för pluggat det har jag gjort.

Det är väldigt lätt att bara fokusera på nämaste deadline istället för att ha ett längre perspektiv. Mitt nyårslöfte till mig själv är att ha bättre studieteknik för nästa termin. Såhär är upplägget:

• Läsa huvudtexterna till föreläsningen samma vecka som föreläsningen är


• Arbeta mer med texten t.ex.svara på frågor, anteckna


• Läsa igenom föreläsningsanteckningarna från veckan som gått på t.ex. fredag


• Dela upp tiden bättre; vissa timmar till deadlines och vissa till kontinuerliga föreläsningar


• Titta tillbaka på gamla anteckningar regelbundet för att repetera

Just nu känns allt lite stressigt, det är så mycket att ta in speciellt vad gäller naturgeografi och ekonomi. Svårast är matten i ekonomin och geologin med alla berg och vulkaner samt atmosfär och vindar. Så krångligt, men men. Bara att möla på, till slut måste det sätta sig. Roligast är biogeografin, jag gillar hur olika biomer ser ut och hur ekosystem fungerar. Det är verkligen spännande! Sen är kulturgeografin spännande den med, tycker om att lära mig om hur världen hänger ihop och vilka teorier som finns för det. Hållbar utveckling är mest bara intressant så kanske är det bra att det provet ligger sist när pluggmotivationen kan ha börjat sina.

Nu är det dags strax att fortsätta med studerandet, efter en liten tv-paus med mellanmål.

Hejdåhejdå från Kvicke!

Min PT släppte en vikt på min fot!

Idag var jag och Isac och gymmade på N'joy i Västerås. Jag hade vaknat på min flummiga sida och var lite ovanligt fnissig. Kan berätta att det är omöjligt att lyfta vikter när man skrattar. Vi hade trots allt roligt och Isac hade satt ihop ett riktigt bra program åt mig: är sugen på att komma igång. Det får dock vänta tills jag kommer hem till st Andrews eftersom jag inte har något gymkort här.
Som rubriken avslöjar hade vi ett missöde idag; Isac råka släppa en 20 kilos vikt på min fot. Blev både blåmärke och bula och det gjorde väldigt ont. Inga ben brutna i vart fall.. (vilket mamma trodde när hon fick höra om det hela). Jag inser nu varför de tvingar på en skor på mitt gym, även om det kanske inte hade hjälpt i det här fallet.
Så hur har jag då tänkt träna under våren? Isacs program är ett tresplit: rygg och axlar, lår, rumpa och vader och sist bröst, triceps och mage. Sen är målsättningen att boxas två gånger i veckan och träna yoga en gång. Det känns roligt och jag hoppas att boxningen kommer ge mig ännu bättre kondition vilket vart lite eftersatt för mig under hösten. Svårast är ju som vanligt kosten, det är så lätt att bara ge upp när allt är stressigt. Godis bara en gång i veckan funkar nog egentligen bäst: efetr min godis/sötfria månad blir det nog den modellen jag kör.
Önska mig gärna lycka till..

So long långkalsong

Skäggiga män

Nu har jag alltså sett den tredje narnia-filmen: Skeppet Gryningen (eller dawn treader som är namnet på engelska, lite tjusigare tycker jag). Filmen var inte så trogen boken vilket blir på minussidan för mig eftersom jag älskar böckerna och har läst dem typ tusen gånger. De hade ändrat om i ordningen de besöker öarna samt försökt få till en röd tråd med svärdjakt och lite grön dimma. Nja, slutar nog kommentera där. Inga fina saker att säga helt enkelt.

På plussidan, den ytliga alltså, kommer han som spelar Caspian. Jag är helt enkelt svag för män med skägg. Så snyggt! Och manligt, sucker för könsroller som inte innefattar mig själv på ett negativt sätt.

Kan inte hjälpa det, min feminist sida som är emot könroller för kvinnor förtvinar och stenålderskvinnan i mig kommer fram ungefär. Jag ser skägget och tänker: manlig, stark, beskyddande. Ber om ursäkt av känsliga läsare. Och lovar att jobba på mina föreställningar om könsroller som nog är rätt ojämlika. Man vill ju inte sluta som Anna Anka..haha

Dagen efter..

Det blev en väldigt händelserik jul detta år: först fick Morfar kärlkramp och kom aldrig iväg till oss här i söder. Sen bestämde sig faster Anna för att hon inte ville komma, så det var bara farmor och Jan-Erik som skulle komma. Deras tåg blev inställt och ersatt av två bussar varav den ena inte kom, så Pappa fick hämta dem i Hallsberg. Och på självaste julafton fick Jan-Erik känningar som liknade de vid stroke så det slutade med att de satt på lasarettet hela julafton, i hela 10 timmar. -Good Job, Eskilstuna akuten..noot.
Vi familjen fick alltså äta vårt julbord själva så inget blev riktigt som vi tänkt oss. Men det var trots allt mysigt ändå, skönt att vara hemma och att umgås samt äta god mat.

På tal om god mat så är det tyvärr slut med det för mig på ett tag, i varje fall vad det gäller sötsaker. En hälsosam höst med godis 1gg per vecka och rolig träning övergick i en stressad vinter med mycket choklad. Det samma hände för min kära mamma men nu tar vi nya tag. Jag fick ett träningsschema samt ett gymtillfälle av Isac i julklapp. Imorgon åker vi till gymmet efter kyrkan så att han får visa mig hur jag ska göra. Roligt med nya övningar; har kört helkroppspass länge så det blir roligt med 3-split istället. Rapport om hur det gick på gymmet, och hur ont jag har i mina arma muskler, kommer imorgon.

Nu ska jag på bio och se den nya Narnia filmen. Har inte så stora förhoppningar men man vet aldrig...Rapport även om det!

So long-långkalsong!

Julbak så det dammar om det!

Ikväll har jag bakat både vörtbröd och lingoncheesecake. Det var roligt, gillar att dona runt i köket. Om det blev lyckat eller ej vet jag inte än, det får vi se imorgon när Farmor och Jan-Erik kommer. Man får hoppas på det bästa!


Här kommer i varje fall brödreceptet:

Vörtbröd med fikon och hasselnötter

Ingredienser:

150g fikon

1 flaska porter (50 cl)

50g jäst

50g smör

1 dl mörk sirap

250g kvarg

1msk salt

2 tsk malen nejlika

2dl hasselnötter

2dl havregryn

15dl siktat rågmjöl

Hacka fikonen. Värm portern tills den är ca. 37 grader. Smula jästen i en bunke, häll på portern och rör ut. Blanda sedan ner alla andra ingredienser och arbeta degen i 10 minuter.Här använde jag en maskin men det går säkert för hand med. Degen ska vara smidig och lite kladdig så häll inte i för mycket mjöl. Jäs under bakduk i 45 minuter. Ta upp på bänk, knåda lätt, ta sedan och dela i två bitar som formas till två limpor. Rulla limporna i gryn, lägg sedan i 2 smorda formar. Låt jäsa i ytterligare 20 minuter medan du sätter ugnen på 250 grader. När limporna är färdigjästa, sätt ner värmen till 200 grader och grädda bröden nederst i ugnen i 45 minuter. Ska svalna på galler.

Recept från Arla köket, något modifierat (www.arla.se)

God Jul!

"Många människor misstar vårt arbete för vår kallelse.

Vår kallelse är att älska Jesus."

-Moder Theresa

Linnéa var här i helgen och vi pratade lite om vad vi ska bli när vi blir stora. Det här med yrkesval har varit en stor grej för mig

denna terminen. Det har varit fram och tillbaka med kurser;

först fck jag inte läsa det jag ville och sen visade det sig att ekonomin som jag trodde var mitt ämne inte passade mg alls. Istället är det nog geografin jag ska satsa på, det trivs jag bättre med. Och det är faktiskt läskigt, tro det eller ej.

Jag har ju alltid haft en tioårs-plan för mitt liv och trott mig veta vad jag vill göra. Så är jag nu vid ett av mina största delmål, universitet, och har ingen aning om vart vägen leder sen. Alla frågar mig vad man blir efter min utbildning och jag vet inte. Är inte ens säker på vad jag vill göra sen.

Mitt i all osäkerhet tror jag ändå att min tro djupnat. Världen blir mycket större och mer komplicerad när man konfronteras med alla olika teorier och fakta. Med insikten att man inte kan veta något riktigt säkert har fått mig att värdera min tro och dess värden mer. Jag kan inte veta om allt det jag kommer jobba med och det jag lär mig om är sant eller bra, men jag kan veta att det jag gör med kärlek gör en skilllnad. Och att saker gjorda med kärlek har ett evigt värde, blir till en "skatt i himmelen" (Matt 6:19-20). Från den insikten kommer en ny styrka att göra gott även om det inte är några storslagna saker. Dessutom bleknar vikten av yrkesval något; min uppgift i livet är ju inte först och främst ett yrke utan att älska Gud och människor.

Min nya lägenhet

Får tillägga att jag trivs fantastiskt bra :)

Nytt boende

Min nya lägenhet är helt underbar!
Så skönt att ha kök, att ha lugn och ro omkring sig, att kunna titta ut på en åker till frukost och vara ensam, med en bok eller nyheterna.
Jag har 4 flatmates, och de är trevliga allihop. I förrgår tittade vi på Cold Mountain, vilket var en särdeles sorglig film men rätt bra +att vi hade ett djupt samtal efteråt. Mycket uppskattat!
Lisafisa kommer till mig snart, ser jättemycket fram emot det. Har dessutom nog hittat en lähenhetskompis för nästa år. Livet ler just nu :) Mycket tacksam..bara tacksam

Linnéa -jag saknar dig, vill ju bara va med dig.. Ser så fram emot jul och att få ses.

Ska försöka ta lite bilder härifrån och lägga upp. Fast först får jag lov att städa så kanske på onsdag..

Orvar
Adios
löv ya all
/Hanna i Skottland

Intensivt, stressigt, roligt!?

Just nu har jag lite väl många bollar i luften känns det som.
Det där med balans..öhhhh, va var det igen?

Det är verkligen jättekul att ha familjen här men jag blir ledsen på mig själv när jag inte njuter av det utan stressar. Tog i vart fall beslutet att boka av en vandring nästa helg; behöver ett par dagar till att ta igen plugg och bara vila. De senaste veckorna har jag bara struntat i att plugga ekonomi, och det märktes på senaste uppgiften; bara 60% rätt mot de sista jag fått ca. 90% på. Visst var det extra svårt denna gången, men om jag hade varit bättre inläst hade det nog gått lite bättre ändå. Så skärpning!
(Och extra plugg under reading week för att ta igen det hela, vi har prov snart)

Idag hade jag hoppats få höra från accommodation services, trivs inte alls i mitt nuvarande boende och vill verkligen flytta. Tyvärr måste jag vänta tills nästa vecka. Vore ju super om jag kunde flytta under reading week, så att det finns mer space för min kära lisifis. Ser verkligen fram emot lite vänbesök från hemlandet!

Ikväll ska jag och familjen på stand-up: Blind Mirth som är universitetes egen trupp. Hoppas det blir bra, var i varje fall kul sist jag var dit. Kanske är till och med min bibelstudie ledare med, det vore kul. Efter mitt beslut att skippa resan nästa helg har jag bara slappnat av, så kvällen lär bli bra.


Lärdom att dra: inse behovet av "vita" dagar i kalendern. För att må bra behöver jag luckor i schemat och en hel del egentid.

Familjebesök

Just nu är familjen här vilket är jättemysigt. Idag var vi i kyrkan, åt söndagslunch och promenerade längs The Scores mot kvällen.

Så vackert, är verkligen stolt över min lilla stad. Vi gick ända ut till den berömda piren, och det såg ut ungefär som på bilden ovan. Imorgon blir det lite mer turistande, museum samt botanisk trädgård.

Och spännande nyheter, jag får veta om jag fått mitt transfer request beviljat.

Hoppas hoppas....

På svenska

Jag har blivit sugen på att skriva igen. Fast på svenska.
Så nylansering (älskar sådana) av Hannas blogg;
Nu på svenska, från Skottland, med unika insikter från mitt nya universitetsliv.


Idag öser regnet ner, jag lyssnar på Bo Kaspers Orkester efter tips från Linnéa, och ska strax fortsätta plugga. Jag håller på att skriva en uppsats om konsumerism och bibeln där jag jämför värdesystem i båda filosofierna samt hur dessa påverkar hållbar utveckling. Jag älskar verkligen att skriva och tänka så det är trevligt på det hela taget.
I helgen kommer familjen och hälsar på, så måste faktiskt få klart uppsatsen...

Från ett blött men vackert hörn av världen,
Hanna

Autumn

It seems like the summer is over for this year. On a walk a week a go I took the following pictures; all signs of a new season coming.

What I really love about the autumn is its colourfulness; red, yellow and bright orange, clear blue skies and warm earthy browns. Accompanied by the sense of expectation that everyone has and the cold and crisp air, it all makes up for a time to love and cherish the nature.

And I promise you that we do! Picking berries, fruit and mushrooms, harvesting and baking applecrumble are all activities that are part of the Swedish autumn.

Ok, I eat more berries and mushrooms than I pick...But I do make pies!

And I really enjoy spending time outdoors, as always. This weekend I'll go on a trekk with my dad in Femundsmarka, Norway. Hopefully we'll experience some bright colours and see some cool animals. I'll get back to you with pictures and the story some time next week...

God's provision

Sometimes I worry about things a bit in advance. Stuff like finding a job for next summer, I'm really scared of being unemployed. I know it's silly, I mean shoudn't I concentrate on university and the autumn first? But I still worry...

Before I went to my grandparents I talked to my dad about it, who reminded me of relative who owns a hotel up North; in the mountain area to be precise. I thought about it a bit, and one morning as I worried I tried to find her email on my hotmail account. You see, I find calling people I don't know well rather scary too. I didn't find the adress though..

But guess what happens half an hour later? She calls my grandma!
So I gathered my courage and got to talk to her, telling about my experience in the Lee Abbey kitchen. It seemed like both my term dates and experience would fit the job perfectly. So I got her email and promised her to send my contact details and cv. Which I've been writing today.

Isn' it cool how God seems to sort out the things that matter to us, however small and insignificant they might seem? A while ago, when I worried the most about university and money matters, God reminded me of himself as my provider. He told me he will always take care of me.
And you bet He does, in the most unexpected ways!

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? (Matthew 6)

You're just to good to be true...

I just spent a bit of time (ok 2 hours) talking to my lovely friend Judith. We had so much fun and came up with such really good jokes that I felt I now have to share it all in a tribute to my LA best friend. Who of course managed to call me when I did what; eating chocolate of course! It was dark so I haven't scrapped the diet as she told me too, but still very funny.

Jude and I are obviously very serious when we spend time talking. For those of you who don't know the pair of us we're practically bussiness partners; it's a meet to talk and pray kind of thing. Well, this conversation started of with a language lesson.

-I bet you are going to have a boyfriend before me!

-No, you'll get this handsome wikkar and lots of kids Jude, you'll be married before me

-Haha I love how you say vicar...hahaha

-No, VVicar, Vicar, vicar, did I say it right now?

A bit later on..

-In the beginning we're having this intro, inter, int, well pre-sessional weeks at biblecollege

-Jude, do you mean introductory weeks?

-Yes, that's how you say it. I can't pronounce it..interductory? int..? Whatever hah

-Haha hihihi hahaha chhchsch hihi

Aren't we good at English language...

On a more serious note: Jude it was great to talk to you! I love your eagerness to pray and how you pour your heart and soul out in prayer support for me. Hugely appreciated, this sense of peace and how I know that God answers our prayers because He has done so before. We are really power women in Christ!

I'm so grateful that you persisted in trying to win my heart in our friendship, now it is truly yours. I miss your care, love and laughter, and look forward to seeing you sometime in January, and hearing from you a lot earlier. I thought I should finish of with a poem you've written me. Let it symbolise our friendship...

Hanna

I wish you were here with me
I feel stronger with you near
A rock, on which I could rely
You sheltered me from fear

Deep friendships are like treasured jewels
Hidden within stone
You never know how much they're worth...
Until they've gone back home

by Judith Barnes

I'm sending especially the last part straight back to you...With lots of love!

Your Hanna

a Film I like!

On the train journey home last week I watched a Swedish film, "Farsan" (which means dad). It was so funny, all about integration and cultures crashing into one another and the people being squashed inbetween. It also treats the subject of manliness; what is it to be a man and what does a woman want?

Dad works at a bike shop together with Juan and Jörgen who owns the shop. Jörgen is worried about his marriage; he is a softie who never knows what he wants and feels like his wife wants a tougher guy. Juan is concerned about his old dog which has arthritis. The only one who hasn't got a problem in the world is Dad. His son is soon having a baby with his beautiful wife and creating the ultimate family happiness for them all. Besides Dad is everything a man should be; he could get any woman anywhere. He is though and strong and a great food, but when he starts to look for a grandmum nothing goes as expected...

I laughed so much when I watched this film and my parents and my brother also like this film, so it can satisfy every taste. So watch it!

Healthy day

I really love breakfasts; this is knäckebröd

with cheese and ham and a fruitsalad

+a cup of black tea and a glass of water.

The joy is completed by the newspaper and the view.

Such a nice way to begin the day!

And since I'm such a good person nowadays, this is my snack that I've eaten whilst writing this. I just had to eat something after my yoga. Soon I'll be off walking my dog, and tonight the gym is waiting for me. Lovely!

The health regime!

Two weeks before I went to Italy this summer, I decided that enough is enough: I need to loose weight. All the Lee Abbey cakes, the cereal and toast staple diet I had there, and the overeating I've succumbed to when stressed (or bored or sad or anxious or happy) had finally got to me. I was overweight! Not very overweight, but far heavier than I wanted to be at the age of 19.

So I decided to change. Not to a short term diet or to a crazy training programme but to good habits I could stay with for life. The most important step is to stop the whole system of dieting-overeating, overeating and more dieting, which is a change that I think has been ongoing the last year. The next step has been to tame my sugarmonster; the part of me that craves sweet things in no limit amounts. That is the one change I've worked on since June, trying only to eat sweets once a week and choosing wholegrain products whenever possible as well as eating less carbohydrates. I know I'm not there yet: I'm still eating a Lot of fruit and tend to put sweet things in food. i'malso a sucker for jam, sweetchili sauce, etc, and even though those things aren't in my sweets-list, i feel like it probably would be good to cut down on them. However, I've had some progress and I'm still pressing on.

The next Big challenge will probably be the hardest: to eat smaller portions. I've been used to eating lots sinceI was a child, and both my parents and my brother still do. So changing this pattern requires a lot from me. At the moment I'm trying to doublethink every time I take a portion of something; if I want to eat three dried apricots I take two instead, or if I would normally eat one avocado one two pieces of "knäckebröd" I'll take half of it instead. Pretty tricky but I hope I'll get better at it and improve gradually.

Exercise is the most joyful part of my regime. I'm going to the gym three times a week and take 1 hour walks with my dog as often as possible. I also do yoga every morning, my routine comprises some stretches and some "greetings to the sun". I really like the stuff I do and hope to complement it with some running soon. I'm seeing a physiotherapist and doing loads of rehabilitation exercises each day that should pay off soon so just wait, I'll be out there soon!

The important question is of course wheather I have any results yet. The answer is yes. Even though I can't see all of them on the scale yet. I'm using both the scale and measuring tape and there has been a lot of weeks when I've lost a cm here and there but no weight, so I'm paying more attention to the measuring tape at the moment.

This was an account of my new lifestyle. I'll try to write about "the regime" every now and then to keep myself aware and you guys updated.

See ya!

Abisko-Kårsavagge-Låkktatjåkka-Björkliden

Raindeers

Team picture!



Our first day in the valley of Kårsavagge

These are just a select few of the pictures from my trekingtrip. If you want to see more of them facebook is probaly the right place to go!

Anyway I might as well tell you that I really loved the trip; it was really nice to meet Kristina and awesome to spend a couple of days outside. I so enjoy outdoor life, and the two sunny days we had clearly outweighed the rain and mist on our two last days... I hope I could somehow inspire you all to get out there, its all worth the effort. Please tell me if you would like to follow me on a trekk sometime,

into the wild....

Politics

Well now I'm back from the mountains. An awesome trip, just amazing. Words aren't sufficient to describe it, so I will post some pictures instead when I get back to Kvicksund.

So, the subject of today: politics. This year there is election in Sweden. And to be honest I haven't got a clue what to vote for. My year in Lee Abbey has affected me a lot; when you hear about life in different countries you suddenly value certain things at home. For me one of those things I appreciate more is the welfare system. Other things I've come to value more is our immigration policys that are rather generous, and the small class differences we have. I more concerned about people with health problems and those unemployed than before, and I also think more about the environment. A year or two ago I would have thought more about freedom of choice and which party that was best at market policies. As you see my focus has shifted and now I'm pretty lost. All the parties seem so similar.

In Sweden, most parties are rather social liberal except maybe the left party (which was the communists before) and a few one issue parties. I guess that the long rule of the socialdemocrats has ingrained the soul and culture of us Swedes. It hasn't got to be a bad thing; I like the fact that most Swedes really care about the less fortunate and see free public schools and healthcare as something natural and necessary. This is someting the Socialdemocrats often lift forward as their main issues and those are things that care about too.

However good the welfare system is, it has made Swedes dependant on the state to solve everything for us. I recently watched a documentary about a severely depressed woman who had difficulties getting her disability pension. She committed suicide when the state, in this case "försäkringskassan" made a mistake and sent her a letter telling her that she had to start working again when she was actually entitled to disability pension. Of course the civil service to send her the letter. Of course they should have had more consideration and care. And the death of the woman was very tragical. But when a severely depressed person commits suicide, isn't the main reason her illness and not her other circumstances? Many things could have triggered her fatal decision, so why are we blaming the state? (Or at least the show did it) I just don't get it, I wish we would have more perspective in the Swedish debate: things are a lot better here than in many countries. We should be grateful for what we have been able to create and try to improve it, but come on; you have to take responsibility for yourself within that system too! Since it is the rule of the Socialdemocrats that has created this culture and they often want the state to solve every issue possible; from healthproblems to jobs, I wouldn't vote for them. But there is still about 5 other parties I could consider, so I haven't got much closer to a choice, have i...

Something that definitly makes matters worse are how politicians behave in general. Why can't they just be nice to eachother when they debate? And why can't they inform and communicate like they were talking to educated adults and not some imbecils of a lesser rase? I'm so tired of empty slogans ans simplified statements thrown in the face of their opponents instead of inteligent conversations with facts and arguments explaining their opinions.

So, if there is a politician somewhere who is nice to their opponents and cares about people, especially those in need like immigrants, children, the elderly and the poor, my promise is that I will vote for you. Especially if you have an idea about how to create a better enployment market where young people can stan a chance, and if you care about sustainability too.

Anyone who has seen this politician?

A single beautiful place to live

My dog needs to get out every now and then and today I took him out for an hour of fast walking. On the way back I looked out over the fields, just stunned by the beauty. I really like living here. The open landscape and mix of views between the lake, fields and woods.

In the past when I've been walking and running and it's been really pretty I've always longed for someone to share it with; a boyfriend. Today I noticed that I feel different. At the moment I'm very content as single; I share the beauty with God and it is enough. I enjoy life as it is which is such a good feeling.

It isn't that I want to remain single for the rest of my life; I like men far too much for lifelong singleness. But there is no void that has to be filled by someone else; there is life to the fullness with or without someone. I really hope that I'll grow closer to, and more centred on Jesus through this time. I want to make the most of this contentment!

Exercise!!!

Today I had a personal instructing session at my gym. My gym is part of a Swedish charity organisation, Friskis & Svettis; all instructors are volounteers and trained there. It's a really nice atmosphere there and very good prices, so I like it. One of the best things is that you get a number of free personal instructions, and that's what I had booked for today.

When I've had this instruction session before there always were these confident, 25+ or 40 years old guys giving me a programme. This time, however, things were a bit different. This nervous, really young guy says hello, and tells me that he is doing his first official instruction wherefore there is another guy supervising/checking on him. I assume that the people that normally book these sessions are 40+ ladies that never have stepped into a gym before. But since I've gone too the gym quite a lot before my needs were rather different from the normal client. I felt so sorry for this nervous (really cute n' handsome) guy. It wasn't really what he had expected, and the supervisor had to fill in more than I think he was supposed to do.

Well well, I got a really nice training programme in the end, with exercises for the whole body every time instead of a split and different muscle groups each time as I wanted in the first place. I liked all the exercises; there were several ones that were new to me, and they could be varied so that each of my three workouts differs. Now I feel really inspired actually!

I am in a special phase in my life physically at the moment. After years of overeating, a time of eating disorders and a training schedule that has varied from 7-8 workouts a week, running 35 km a week, to next to nothing except my physical job, I am now trying to find a balance where I eat and exercise of the right reasons. I want to feel and be well, not only look good, which is a massive attitude change for me.

I need to loose a bit of weight, which is a huge challenge for me since I really do not want to fall into the old trap of dieting - overeating again. Right now I am just skipping the sweet and unhealthy things, but to actually loose weight I'll probably have to downsize my food portions as well. A tricky one. I'm feeling hopeful anyway, and excited about finding a lifestyle I enjoy which will make me both feel good and look good. Fitness Me here I come!

I just have to take care not injuring myself again. My physiotherapist, who is helping me to get rid of the calf problem that stopped me from running during two years (it was due to overtraining during the eating disorder time) very wisely said: Now we are going to find the sustainable development for your calves.

It isn't only as a degree I'm going to pursue sustainable development during this year, my whole being needs it!

Spannarboda weekend!

This weekend I went with my friend to visit her family in Spannarboda, a little village in the middle of Sweden. We had an awesome time! Among other things she took me for a ride on her motorbike...Really cool!


Pretty biker girls, aren't we?

Except driving around in the woods like crazy people, we went for a walk around the village. It took 20 min. We also watched a film and spent Saturday morning doing yoga and painting each other's nail. So relaxing... Linnea is really good at footmassage, that's for sure. Before we went back to Eskilstuna/Kvicksund we dressed up and spent some time in Örebro. I drank the best latte I've had in my life, with chocolate syrup in and a piece of dark chocolate by the side. That it was all fairtrade made it all perfect.

On the whole it was a very nice weekend. Whenever Linnea asked me what we should do I told her in a northern accent that the only thing I wanted was to be with her. It became a really funny joke, but it is also very true. I love when I get to spend lots of quality time with people. It makes me feel loved and appreciated and I thouroghly enjoy it. Thank you Linnea for your gift of friendship and a really nice couple of days!

My sometimes crazy but very pretty friend!

Soundtrack for the weekend :)

A loving group of people

Today one of my best friends came over for a chat, dinner and kayaking.
As always we had some great conversations, on all sorts of topics. One of the best was about faith; how we view God and how humanity has seen God during different time periods. As we often do we spinned off to another topic and started to discuss religion. Linnea pointed out how things we often give importance to in church, rules etc. can be very far from Jesus's message of God as love. Weren't we supposed to be a loving group of people, after all?

I tried to explain why I think that rules can be someting good. They can help us to get closer to God when one part of us would rather follow our selfish desires, which is great! Furthermore the rules and traditions we have are often created by people who loved God and pursued to love Him more. Off course that is not always the case...
Rules can become a way to justify ourselves before God and resist his grace and love by declaring them unnecessary, just like the pharisees did.

This tension, between God's grace and how a faith has to have deeds to be alive, is something that I struggle with a lot. I'm naturally inclined to want to perform and achieve things. Therefore I often fall into the trap of trying to earn God's love and approval, Furthermore I'm attracted to prestige, which gives me a desire to be a "good and proper" christian. This produces behaviour that reassembles the behaviour of the pharisees, something that causes me quite a lot of grief. On one hand I know that more than anything I want to be the person God created me to be. I desire to be the loving, compassionate Hanna who cares more about others than how she is viewed or how she sees herself. But at the same time I can feel the urge to be super successful super christian Hanna, who tends to be rather elitistic and nasty. And even though I know I'm more like the loving Hanna now than a couple of years ago, I still struggle to let go of the super version of me.

I drove Linnea to Eskilstuna and as I drove back home again, I started to think about these things and got rather depressed. Super me wondered how I would ever become the person that God planned for me to be. So it was very, very nice when I opened my bible and read the passage for the day, from 1 Cor 15:42-44, (the message)

This image of planting a dead seed and raising a live plant is a mere sketch at best, but perhaps it will help in approaching the mystery of the resurrection body—but only if you keep in mind that when we're raised, we're raised for good, alive forever! The corpse that's planted is no beauty, but when it's raised, it's glorious. Put in the ground weak, it comes up powerful. The seed sown is natural; the seed grown is supernatural—same seed, same body, but what a difference from when it goes down in physical mortality to when it is raised up in spiritual immortality!

I know this passage is about the resurrection, but what struck me is how it is God's reedeming grace, through Jesus' sacrifice, that recreates us. Even though I'm weak and just a little seedling I can become a powerful plant (perhaps even a tree ^^).God reminded me how He has always been the one acting in my life, moving me in the direction of Him and shaping me into myself, the self I'm supposed to be. It's with and through Him! As you understand I felt encouraged and less guiltridden. When we allow God's grace into our lives it is easier to surrender our plans of earning his love and approval. The part of me that want to make it on my own according to my own wishes dies, but in that death there is a chance too grow into all that I can be in Jesus. Life to the fullest, one of those mysterious parodoxes of Kingdom life and God.

On the picture below there is a birch, which is my favourite tree. The seeds are really small and annoying but ones they start to grow they are beautiful, as you can see:

New starts and a nice run

So now I'm doing this thing. Again.
Well, I sort of like blogging and I reckon it might be a nice way of keeping you guys up to date with my life, since I move around a lot at the moment.

Did I ever tell anyone that Sweden is beautiful?
Today I went for my third run since I've come back home, and goodness gracious how I loved it.
Summer evenings are very pretty here; the sunshine on the fields, the green birches and the blue sky, the white fluffy clouds and all those smells that belong to moist summer air. It all makes me genuinely happy.

As I came back from the run and walked across our garden, I thought of the poem Charles gave me when I left Lee Abbey Devon:

I thank you God for most this amazing day:

for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is infinite which is natural which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birthday

of life and of love and of wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any -lifted from the no

of all nothing-human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

the eyes of my eyes are opened)

-e.e. cummings

I looked out over the lake we live by, and nearly started to cry. The beauty of God really touches m. He created us such a beautiful place to live, and it really draws me to thank him. It's such a proof for his existence and always reminds me how he brought me back to himself after a long time of doubt. I had such a long season of numbness, and later sadness, but God brought me back to life again through nature. And my eyes and ears awoke...